my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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