Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
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Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
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and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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