Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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