Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize