Fine. I'll sleep in my office
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
you never un-have a 4some
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
