I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
