i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
