I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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