I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Jerry, you need to find god
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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