You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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