I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
