never play flip cup with pint glasses
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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