some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
