I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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