when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
