her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
