Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
