i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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