At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
