I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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