mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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