I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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