you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Send help, water and tortillas.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
