Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
