He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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