this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
