Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it glows. i had to have it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
