"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
