What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
