ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You made out with two different species that night
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
