ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
