You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
