apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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