just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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