I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
