Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
home. puking in laundry basket.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
