so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
