This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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