Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also, beer. Big fan.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
