I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
