i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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