If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
