so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
