Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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