A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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