I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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