Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.