i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.