she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another