You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.