The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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