i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
