she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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