I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
