i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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