I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
did i walk over a car last night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
