YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
