at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
