did you get engaged???
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Terrible idea I love it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
